I am Superman

In about 6 weeks Gem and I will attempt to gain entry to the United States of America. For many years I have wanted to visit and nestle in the homely bingo wings of the great empire. However recent reports suggest that gaining access to these comforts may not be so easy. Recently a friend from Ireland travellingto the US was verbally battered for attempting to ask a security guard where the nearest ATM was. "Do not approach me sir" was the curt reply, but since no approach had been made said friend innocently repeated the question, the scripted response was also repeated but with increasing with venom: "DO NOT APPROACH ME SIR"! This lost in translation moment continued for some time until the security official began to tap his revolver´s safety whilst steadfastly sticking to the script: "DO NOT APPROACH ME SIR", fortunately for all concerned another official recognised the standoff and diffused the situation. However for some unfortunates the experience at US customs is always going to be a nightmare:

Customs Official : 'May I know your name sir?'

Passenger : 'Batman'

Customs Official : 'What is your name!?'

Passenger : 'My name is Bat-man'

Customs Official : 'Trying to be funny? What's your surname?'

Passenger : 'Super-man'

Customs Official : 'So you're telling me your name is Batman Superman?'

Passenger : 'Yes'

Customs Official : 'Arrest this guy...

When they had him in custody, he was asked to show his identification card: