Adrian Chiles - Part 1

For those of you who don't know Adrian Chiles - he's the man who has carved a BBC career out of being the chubby Brummie next door. A man so devoid of charisma that he made Gareth Southgate look edgy during the 2010 ITV World Cup coverage.

Chiles is soon to be the face of GMTV having made a multi-million pound move to ITV so that he can ingratiate himself amongst an even larger section of the brain dead British pubic who frankly deserve him.

I had a dream last night that he teamed up with my new hate list contender James Corden to work on a charitay cover of Olivia Newton John's 'Lets Get Physical'. During the video shoot a prop mishap ends Chiles' career as he is accidentally crushed under Corden's gigantic smugnity. It could be that this dream carries with it a scary glimpse into the future of British TV, but who knows and quite frankly who gives a crap? Me! I do.

I know I'm bitter about something that sounds incredibly trivial - 'Hey Chilesy is all right, he's a refreshing change with his brummie accent and everyman footy talk' - well f**k that shit. Chiles is not an everyman he's a cynical calculating leech on the numb backside of the glorious British public, who uses his crushed Cabbage Patch Kid face to dupe us into lending him gardening tools and DIY manuals, only to see them on Ebay a week later.

I'm not alone... There are others who think the same as me...resist, fight, don't let him alone with your family.