New Wallace (note: this is not a New Years resolution)

No more moaning! Yeah! I'm going to try an sit down and relfect positively on any event that happens to me.

So last night I woke up weeping. I sat alone in bed, daylight still hours from my window and reflected on the empty shell that I am. I looked at old photos of me in my youth and felt absolutely no connection to the idiot gurning back at me. I don't know what was going on in my head back then. I have no memories, no notes, no books, friends and family are often too polite to go into details. So that leaves me with a blank smile.

What do you do with your past? Well last night the total absence of past memory emotional or otherwise - left me with very little to go on, but in the light of this new attempt at optimism I'm going to spin it around. The guy I was then has led to the man I am now. I'm not happy with the man I am now, and since I have very little memory of what got me to this point, I believe I can start again without a guilty conscience. So the guy I was yesterday is no more. Today I reinvent myself.

I'm going to do things: say things, read things, watch things, build things, write things, love things. Is that enough? Surely it is. Surely?

First things first - an afternoon watching crap Christmas TV, then I begin...

oh yeah - the photo - I took it on Christmas day, it was the nearest thing I could get to Santa Claws